20.2.12

sometimes, I cry

 I cried a lot this morning.

I don't know why.
I just did.

I prayed for my friends who are church planting, and I cried (church planting can be so, so hard! and it can be so, so lonely!)

I thought about the dentist appointments that we had last week, and I cried (we brush! we floss!  we limit candy and coke to a bare minimum!  we severely prohibit the favorite Mexican pastime of sucking limes! why do we have cavities?!  whyyyyyyy?!)

I read through Romans and I stopped for a bit to reflect on that passage that says "suffering produces endurance", and I cried (because sometimes I feel like my suffering produces more fear in me than endurance)

I thought about how I have friends and family in so many different places, and I cried (because I feel like my heart is torn into many tiny pieces and spread all over the world; because I want to spend time with those friends, but I can't!)

and then I kept remembering those passages in Romans that talk about God's abundant grace, and I cried (because God keeps pouring out his grace to me, and I don't deserve it! Could there be any sweeter love?)


11 comments:

  1. Ive cried when I unloaded the dish washer before and I just blamed it on hormones. We prayed for your family todayfly dear friend. I will say another special prayer just for you. Oh and we have the same problem with the teeth. Aiden just had a tooth pulled and a filling this week and we are total maniacs about brushing, flossing, and rinsing!

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    1. um, you just made me cry . . . :) thank you for praying for me!!!

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  2. man, it's funny (well, not ha-ha funny) that you just wrote this post, because seriously when I sent you that Facebook message today I was fighting the tears...it just hit me. so maybe I was empathizing with you today. I am praying for you. love you.

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    1. ah . . . you heard my hurt, I think! I love you!

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  3. Rejoicing that you are willing to suffer in so many hard ways for righteousness' sake, and praying that the Lord will fill your heart with joy, peace, and contentment as you follow Him in faith. Know that you are loved!!

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    1. joy, peace and contentment are PERFECT things to pray for me - thank you!

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  4. Your faith and your tears have comforted me! I am down here in Mississippi alone with my 5 children (my husband is in Afghanistan unexpectedly!) and I feel as though I am on the mission field somewhere foreign. However, reaching out to others has helped and I want to tell you that you are doing good things! About a month after we first moved here, I took my children to the dentist (as I have done faithfully every 6 months!) and we have lots of cavities too! I laugh about that because it devastated me for weeks as that brought me down as a mother more than many things. I spoke with your mother and she told me "such a good reminder that we are not in control of as much as we think we are." So good...you are not alone! I also kept telling myself, "It is not a cancer or life ending diagnosis" as I was treating it like it was! So hang in there Naomi! We prayed for you too this morning!

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    1. oh goodness, Amy, I think I may have cried ten times more if I had an unexpectedly deployed husband (yowza) . . . and I BET you are going through all sorts of culture shock! thank you for your sweet note - - and for praying for us!

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  5. This post is almost 2 years old but I just found it. I understand something about church planting as my church has been doing that and, as a deacon, I had to help make some decisions in those regards. I understand a lot about living in Mexico. I did that for over 6 years and now only live a few minutes away from the border. I can see Mexico from my balcony and that view reminds me of His grace. They were some pretty hard and challenging times back then but here I am, still ticking. I pray that you still find His grace and that will really remove your fears. I pray that you have found you place in Mexico and that you are a shinning light for Him. Dios te bendiga.

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    1. Thank you Penni! while I am doing better here in Mexico than I was two years ago, I find myself still desperately in need of God's grace and the prayers of his people! THANK YOU for praying for me . . .

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